SHADOW THE HEDGEHOG: THE UNOFFICIAL PARODY!
by InTheNightlight
Summary: The name says it all. The parody of Shadow the hedgehog. I'll try to put up a new chapter every day. I'm doing Neutral first, then Hero, then Dark.
1. Who Am I?

SHADOW THE HEDGEHOG© is owned by SEGA.

A black hedgehog was looking at a city from atop a cliff.

'Shadow the hedgehog, why does that name haunt me? Oh, wait, that's my name. Anyway it's the only thing I can remember, and that gruesome image.' Shadow thought.

FLASHBACK:

Shadow and a girl were running down a hallway.

"Don't worry Maria! I'll save you!" Shadow declared.

Suddenly Shadow fell out a window and Maria said, "…I'm hungry."

End of Flashback…

"Who am I? Oh, DUH! MY NAME'S SHADOW! But who's that blonde girl with the funny blue dress, what's her name? Uh…Bob?" Shadow pondered, rubbing the sides of his head.

Suddenly a whole bunch of aliens fell from the sky.

"Pathetic humans. I don't have time for this!" Shadow said, walking the opposite direction.

"Shadow…" A voice said from behind. Shadow turned to see an alien with lots of jewels and junk. "Find the 7 chaos emeralds to me for my rare jewel collection, as promised. And then I shall reveal your past."

"Okay, hold up!

1. Who are you?

2. How do you know my name?

3. What are you talking about?

And 4. How do you know I forgot my past!?" Shadow questioned, but the alien hologram blew up.

"……………WHAT THE HECK WAS THAT ALL ABOUT! But if he says he knows my past, then like it or not I've got to believe him. The only way to know the secrets to my past…is to get those chaos emeralds!" Shadow said as he ran toward the city, unfortunately he forgot he was on a cliff and he fell. "Wait, WHAT IS A CHAOS EMERALD!?"

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	2. WESTOPOLIS

Shadow was running through the city when he saw a soldier knocked back by a laser blast.

"Oh my gosh…" Shadow mumbled concernedly. He picked up the gun that the soldier had. "THIS IS FULLY LOADED! Sucker!" Shadow exclaimed, aiming at the first thing he saw. He shot a flying, bat-like alien.

"GREAT JOB!" He heard a cocky voice say from behind. He turned to see a blue hedgehog that looked similar to himself.

"Hey you're………Your name's Speedy Poo Man right?" Shadow asked.

"……………………………………I see you still have that same short-term memory problem ever since we last saw each other at Eggman's flagship. Y'know, against Metal Sonic?" Sonic asked.

"……………OH! That's right! You're Amy Rose!"

"HOW DO I LOOK EVEN **REMOTELY **LIKE AMES!? First off, she's PINK! I'M BLUE!"

"Well, how should I know that? I'm COLOR-BLIND!"

"Second, my name is Sonic! You know! Fastest thing alive? Speedy McQuickness? Sonic the Supersonic Hedgehog?"

"Oh Yeah!"

"Hey Shad! That's a Chaos Emerald! With it, you can unlock unlimited power!" Sonic said.

Shadow destroyed all enemies in the vicinity with numerous calls from Sonic like "STOP!" and "Hey, They're on OUR side!"

"THEY'RE NOT ON OUR SIDE IF THEY SHOOT AT US!" Shadow protested.

"Uh, only cause you jump IN their line of fire!" Sonic corrected.

Shadow then ran into an octopus like alien with one eye.

You know how sometimes you feel that on one side of you, there's a red devil guy and on the other there's a cute little angel guy? That's how Shadow felt. On the devil side, Doom's Eye was going around with a pitchfork, repeating the words, "KILL! KILL! KILL!" and on the angel side Sonic was saying, "FUN! FUN! FUN!" repeatedly. And worst of all, some weirdo was playing a banjo remix of the CHICKEN DANCE in the background!

"SHUT UP! BOTH OF YOU JUST SHUT UP!"

Shadow then continued forward and reached the Chaos Emerald.

"SHADOW! YOU HAVE FAILED THE MISSION!"

"Hey, you want the Chaos Emeralds right, so here it is!" Shadow proclaimed proudly.

"…………………YOU IDIOT! YOU'RE FIRED!" Doom's Eye yelled, if that's even possible, on account of, he didn't have a mouth.

"SHADOW! THERE ARE STILL ALIENS TO KILL!" Sonic yelled out from behind.

"Blah, blah, blah." Shadow said, completely ignoring Sonic's words. He whipped out his two Chaos Emeralds. "CHAOS CONTROL!" He yelled as he was floating upward in a beam of light. "See ya Sony!" He proclaimed just before he vanished.

"MY NAME IS SONIC!" Sonic yelled to the sky.

To be cont'd…

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	3. GLYPHIC CANYON

Shadow was zipping around some old abandoned ruins. He wondered if he should fight alongside Black Doom or against him. This time he fought for himself, activating all thee jewels and destroying black creatures.

"Hey, Shadow! These black creatures are EVERYWHERE! Whaddya say you and me clean some house!" Knuckles the echidna said.

"…………………BLACK!? THESE THINGS ARE SILVER!" Shadow exclaimed.

But once again, Shadow destroyed most aliens.

Later, Shadow came to a door that wouldn't open.

"Shadow, my soldiers have locked this door and the only way for a person, like that Sonic guy he would have to destroy my guards first." Black Doom said.

"So……Open the door." Shadow said.

"HA! That's the good part you see—"

"Yea but how do WE get in?"

"So, when—"

"YES, BUT HOW DO **WE** GET IN!?"

"So when Soni—"

"RAGHR!" Shadow became so angry that he shot all the guards.

"Shadow! You DARE to defy me! NEXT you must activate all 5 jewels in this temple guarded by my best men." Black Doom instructed.

"Yea, but…um…those are your men right?"

"Jup."

"And you're always in contact with your men? So, why don't you: ASK YOUR DANG MEN TO ACTIVATE THE DANG JEWELS! They're standing RIGHT THERE for goodness' sake!" Shadow protested.

Anyway, Shadow did as he was told. Soon he was at a flashback zone. He was in a space colony in a room with a tall, angry man in a lab coat.

"So YOU are the architect?" He said into the phone. "Building a research facility in space? Then why aren't any research rooms? No bedrooms? No kitchens? There isn't even a darn TOILET in this place! Only endless rooms with random flashing lights! ………………………………………YES I **LIKE** FLASHING LIGHTS TOO! BUT THEY AREN'T HELPFUL, ARE THEY!?"

Suddenly Shadow found himself back in the real world. He was roughly bumping down a rocky cliff.

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	4. PRISON ISLAND

Shadow was sprinting across the platforms. He jumped off a pipe and fell on the ground hard.

"I'm okay………"

"Well I'M not!" A whiny voice said from beneath Shadow. Underneath Shadow was a small bee with a pilot's helmet on.

"Whoops…" Shadow got off and helped the bee to his feet. "You okay?"

"Note to you. Lay off the chilidogs for awhile." The bee said. "………………………AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!! OMYGOSH IT'S SHADOW THE HEDGEHOG! MYNAME'SCHARMY! CANIHAVEYOURAUTOGRAPH!?" The hyperactive bee jolted.

"No. What're you even doing here?" Shadow asked. "And what's with this crud heap?"

"Okay for your response: Aww Man! For question 1: I'm looking for discs to help Vector with his defective hearing. And for question 2: Espio said you blew it up!"

"……………What?" Shadow asked, raising a fist.

"Um…………NEVERMIND!"

"That's what I thought." Shadow then pulled his fist back and slammed it into the young insects' face. He ran off into the deeper parts of the island.

Charmy regained consciousness. "Wow…………………………I WAS JUST PUNCHED BY SHADOW! COOL!" He exclaimed, paying no attention to his throbbing black eye.

Once again, Shadow found Charmy again but couldn't get rid of him this time. When he was just yards away from the emerald, he spotted a newspaper. He calmly picked it up, rolled it up, and hit Charmy over the head. Charmy fell to the floor, positively unconscious. When Shadow touched the emerald, he was instantly crushed by a boulder. A small yellow figure in a cape approached the emerald. It was……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………RAY!

"SCORE! Mighty! I got the emerald!" The young rodent called.

"PERFECT! Now just to find the last 6! And then we get our REVENGE on Team Chaotix! THEY WILL REGRET EVER FIRING US!" Mighty and Ray both laughed maniacally. They stole Shadow's other 3 emeralds and put a sticky note saying i.o.u. on his forehead. They also taped Charmy to the wall and force fed him sauerkraut.

"That's revenge on Charmy! Now just 2 to go!" Ray chuckled evilly.

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	5. ATTENTION! PLEASE READ!

ATTENTION! PLEASE READ!

I'm sorry for the inconvenience of not updating the story. I need time to think of the next parody chapter. I thank you for your patience. Have a nice day.


	6. AIR WHATEVER IT IS

Sorry about the wait. I had writer's block. But I'm back! So this is……………………SHOOT! What's the zone? WHAT IS IT!? Whatever. Air Something.

Shadow woke up at a fleet of mech ships and Black Arms ships. "Um……………Okay…………Where the heck am I? Wait…………What was I doing again? …………………………………………………………………………………………"

PLEASE STAND BY…………………………

"……………………Okay! So I was trying to get the Chaos Emeralds. RIGHT!" Shadow ran off the ledge he was on. "Drat, I REALLY need to look out for those more often……" He ran across the area until he came up to a large gap. "Man, this is the LAST thing on my list! I need to figure out a way across………Hm………………………"

"Shadow, I hate to say this but—"

"PIPE DOWN, DOOMSY! I'm trying to think……………………………I KNOW! I'll use my air shoes!" He jumped of the ledge and began to try running on nothing. He screamed like a ninny when he fell. He reappeared at the last checkpoint. "Okay, never mind." He ran back to the cliff. "Okay. There isn't anything to get me across, and digging would take hours. Air shoes are out because I fall to my flipping death. How do I get across?" He contemplated until he saw a Black Arms bird next to a donkey. "THAT'S IT!" He ran over and got on the donkey. "HYAH! Ride, Lil' Puddin' Tater! HYAH!" The donkey bucked him all the way to the last platform. "Wow………pretty convienent……" He passed out from lack of oxygen. A few hours later, he woke up. He ran forward, touched the emerald, and jumped aside, just as the boulder fell. "…………WHEW!" He said, looking around. After 2 seconds, an anvil fell on his head. Ray and Mighty ran up again.

"Okay. So……..we have………" Ray counted on his fingers. "……6! OMYGOSH! Only ONE STINKIN' MORE!" Ray cheered.

"WOOOOO! HIGH FIVE!" Mighty yelled.

To be cont'd…


	7. IRONIC JUNGLE

Okay here is Iron Jungle.

Shadow appeared out of thin air. He looked around and realized that he was surrounded by androids. He saw a DVD player floating by. It was showing a rerun of AoSTH.

"Kids, there nothing more cool than—" It was interrupted by a scientist appearing onscreen.

"Shadow Androids! Eliminate the soldiers! Now, GO!" Shadow grabbed it and slid a DVD in.

"I hate this channel…OOH! SatAM is on!" He sat back and ate popcorn until the DVD finished. Can I have some? "EE! WHERE ARE YOU!?" Shadow screamed. "And why did you say 'Shadow screamed'?"

I'm the narrator. I tell the story.

"YOU MEAN TO TELL ME THAT NONE OF THIS IS REAL!? HOW MUCH OF MY LIFE IS A LIE!?" Shadow yelled. "STOP IT!"

If you choose to get technical, Black Doom lied to you, blahblah… you must kill him la—

"Geez, he was annoying."

"Oh, hey Black Doom! Thanks! He was about to spoil it for me!"

"No problem."

COUGH! COUGH! I'm—I'm not dead!

"SHUT UP! You STAY DEAD WHEN I TELL YOU TO!"

Hey, is that a gu—

"Hey, Black Doom? Are you even supposed to BE here?"

"Oh, why no, I'm not. Toodles!"

COUGH! I hate when he does that!

So anyways, Shadow continued running, accidentally hitting a red and black robot.

"Shadow. Come with me if you wish to live…" Shadow ignored him.

"Y'know, I just realized, the partner characters are USELESS!" Shadow said.

He reached the goal ring.

"What the--? WHERE THE FLIP IS THE CHAOS EMERALD!?" He touched it and teleported away to hot shelter…

NEXT TIME: HOT SHELTER


End file.
